"Where's the goat food?"

First off, we'd like to humbly apologize to our hundreds of dedicated followers for your patience while we've been away. Despite what you may assume, we were not being lazy, sleeping in, or watching Smallville. We were painfully slaving away at our minimum wage jobs where we are unappreciated, underpaid, and overworked. every. single. day.

Awesome.

The only reason we put up with bickering customers on a full time basis is to pay our way through junior college. And because we get take home Olallieberry turnovers. Pronounced : Oh-La-Luh-Berry.

How much are the Ollen-berry pies?
Are there any more Oll-uh-luh-lie-la-berry turnovers?
How do you say it... Olive-berry?

The problem with thing about our "Where's the goat food?" job is that 99.9% of the people who come in are tourists.

You'd probably picture tourists to be average sized white people wearing safari hats and hawaiian print collared shirts, with noses covered in SPF 85.

This is their true identity:

Not to be confused with...

Once a person falls into the tourist syndrome they immediately lose all cognition and their bellies  become their brain. "Where's the goat food?" No longer are they distinct individuals; they move in herds and the only recognizable sound that comes from their mouths is "MOOO."

For example,

"Hi, how are you doing today?" - Humble cashier
"How much are your pies?" - Pig
"I'm great thanks. They're $13.95."
"Are they doing hay rides today?" (In between chomps of corn)
"Yes, they are. Have you had a good vacation?" (As we flick chewed up corn off of our shirts)
"Okay, give me 5 more of these turnovers."
(We frantically run across the barn, through the swine, to retrieve 5. more. turnovers.)
"Here you go."
"Oh, we decided we're not going to get those."
"No worries, (fake smile) have a nice day."
......
(Whispers) "Thank you. I will too."


Note: this is an every day annoyance occurrence. However, we do our best to always shrug off the rudeness and laugh.

So the moral of this story is #1. We are so sorry for being away. #2. Cashiers are humans too. And you DO NOT need a plastic bag for every. single. item.

"And Ma'am, the goat food is right in front of you."