Tuesday, July 12, 2011

She's the Man- Part One

Let me just start off with some wise advise: Never go on a date with a co-worker.

 Especially when instead of asking you on a date, he tells you that he's going to take you out on a date. Red Flag. 

This is how it should go down...

-Oh hey QB, I bought you roses. 
-Wow! Thank you! What's the occasion?
-Well, I was kinda hoping that I could take you out to dinner sometime. I made a reservation at a sea side, glass bottom restaurant. 
- Why yes, of course. I thought you'd never ask. 

This is how it went down...

-QB, I'm gonna take you out on a date. 
-Uhhhhhh. Okay.
-Awesome, I'll text you.

That's a curious way to ask a girl out. He's nervous. I thought. I'll let it slide.

Because he lacks a driver's license, he picked me up... by foot. Red Flag. And we walk downtown to a coffee shop.

The walk to the coffee shop was... um.. interesting. But for some reason I thought a date consisted of both people talking. Red Flag. 

-Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. Oh my goodness, QB. I'm talking way too much. What about you?
- *Nervous laugh* Oh no, it's ok. Well...
- Oh! But I forgot to tell you BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA. 

Sigh*

When we finally arrive at the coffee shop, I couldn't figure out if he was going to pay for my drink or not. Awkward.

He did though. What a nice guy. I thought.

Pssshh. Yeah right. A whopping 4 bucks.

The nervous chatter begins.

These are the facts he learned about me:
  1. My favorite color is blue.
  2. I'm quarter black. 
  3. I like chai tea lattes. 
  4. I have two siblings. 
  5. I love Jesus.
  6. My parents are awesome. 

These are the facts I learned about him:
  1. He never got his driver's license because he didn't think he ever needed it. 
  2. He travelled with county fairs and farmers markets and worked at an oxygen bar. 
  3. He's majoring in Drama. Red Flag.
  4. He wants to become a CALVIN KLEIN UNDERWEAR model. Red Flag.
  5. He had "the most epic first kiss" with some chick. 
  6. He thinks it would be best if people could make up their own religions. 
  7. Video games are his favorite free time activity.
  8. He purses his lips and looks down and to the left at the end of every sentence. 
  9. He doesn't like Smallville.

The list goes on and on and on.

All throughout his endless spiel there were two things going through my head.

Poor kid. He sounds like an idiot. and How do I let him off easy when he asks me on a second date?

When we finally arrived back at my home, I couldn't care less about what else he had to say and I couldn't wait to hear about Cowgirl and Micro's evening adventures.

To Be Continued...

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